2018 Metropolitan 2 Man BB Results 2/10/18

 

Hello friends,

Looks like it was another beautiful Bay Area day to play some golf at Metropolitan Links for the annual NCGA 2-Man Net BB Qualifier.  Reminder, if you have not posted your score yet post as a "T" score for this event as it is a Major for the Club. Sam Haskins was reportedly on site to offer spiritual guidance and life coaching, which it appears no one followed. 

Team Ken Ross / Jim Waggoner took 1st place with a net 64, barely edging out the 65's shot by teams Mamot/Roberts and Walczak/Thompson.  Well played gents.  Top 5 results:

1st - Waggoner / Ross - 64

2nd - Mamot/Roberts - 65

3rd - Walczak / Thompson - 65

4th - Cussen / Miller - 67

5th - Walker / Jackson - 69

This marks the 1st event victory for Jim Waggoner in many years after re-joining the Club for 2018.  Waggs has told me many tall tales over the years as to why he can't play much, "I'm getting married", "I'm having a baby," "I have the flu."  All gamesmanship, what they call a "long con" in certain circles.  Ross & Waggoner even went as far as to tell me they "needed" a partner for this event both claiming to be partnerless lost little lambs in the field.  Little did we know Jim laid out an 8 year plan with Ken Ross in 2010.  I recently became aware of a 8 yr old text message sent between the two, "2018 Net BB will be our year, just wait."  So the prophecy has now come to be truth and Ross / Waggoner will be representing LPGC in the next stage of qualifying for the NCGA 2-Man Net BB Competition.  Congratulations guys, we wish you luck in getting to the finals in Monterey!  

Team Narcilepsy, Harrington/Franzago, who were early favorites allegedly drove off cart paths into old landfill, were found napping in various port-a-pottys, forgot they were partners after hole 4 and played a money match against each other for the rest of the round.  It's been confirmed by the IOC they attended the wrong event and were actually scheduled for Team Figure Skating in PyeongChang this afternoon but boarded the wrong transfer plane in Albuquerque.  They are normally known worldwide for their TC Chen Double-Axle Hay-Bail maneuver. 

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New Member Alex Roberts made his 1st LPGC appearance teaming with Mamot to finish in 2nd place.  He reportedly hits a long ball and shot 70 gross today on his own ball.  Nice playing Alex.  It's rumored Mamot found him on GolfTinder.com, swiped right and now a new relationship has been born.  We should all be afraid.  

Has anyone seen or heard from Drew Walker?  He was last seen isolating himself on a practice green chipping away at chipping.  

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Today's news wire updates here in Japan note an incident has occurred.  International media has not been able to confirm exact whereabouts but it's thought to be an Allenby-esque type situation. 

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Drew, come home, you're safe with us, all will be OK.  

Thanks to all the players that came out to support the event, I hope you had an enjoyable day on the course.  Next event is a Skins game March 24th at Lincoln.  We had to cancel Mare Island due to LPGC being placed on their "no-fly" list so we'll do another Skins game at home instead.  Hopefully I will be back from Asia to play in this one if I'm not auctioned off as a Geisha Girl to a consortium of Japanese business men in the next month.  

Until next time, be good gentlemen.

-President, Naoto De Silva

SuperBowl Skins Results

Hello Friends,

Looks like it was a beautiful morning at Lincoln for the annual January Skins Game.  We had a nice turnout and an astounding 6 pelts were won by the following players at $75 per skin:

Ken Harrington - #1, 3 net 2

Max McMillan - #3, 2 net 1

Jeff Park - #6, 3 net 2

Doug Fong - #11, 3 net 2

Dan Carwin - #14, 4 net 3

Ed Murray - #15, 3 net 2

Congratulations gentleman, always nice to see many players getting in on the skins action.  Regatta points will be distributed evenly for skins winners at 12 points per player.  

Highlights and Heartbreaks:  Despite playing a great 18 holes of golf with birdies on both 8 & 9, Drew Walker was blanked on skins for the day.  In a backdoor deal struck earlier at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, Walker agreed to birdie #9 early, take Vitone's skin off the board, thereby increasing Jeff Park's overall skin $ value on #6.  Park/Walker have outsmarted us all on multiple levels. 

Park struck again on #16, always a volatile skin hole, by making 3 and canceling Mike Franzago's 3 made a short time earlier.  Note...#16 is a smooth 7 iron for Mike and a full driver for Jeff.  You should all fear the Park by now.  

Cussen made a nice natural birdie on 15 only to be outdone by Murray's natural birdie / net eagle to claim the skin.  Walker struck again on 12 with a 3 net 2 nullifying Cussen's 3 net 2.  Drew's new on course name is now Null Set. 

Chris Biorn added new content to his short game clinic, a shot called the shaft shank.  We're still reviewing video and understanding how this highly advanced move can be taught to the average player.  

Sounds like great fun was had by all, thank you to those who came out and supported the event. 

4-Stick Results

It was a windy winter day at Lincoln Park for the annual Quatre-Baton.  I hear conditions were challenging and confusing, good thing club selection was kept simple by limited options. History proved again that with 10 less clubs most people shoot about the same.  Not sure what that says about our acumen as golfers and/or human beings surviving on Earth.  Maybe if we were all homeless and walked around in diapers with raccoon hats we would achieve more success in life?  This is an option I am heavily considering...  

We had a few withdrawals so the field of 21 was reduced to 16.  Missing persons reports have been filed with Ross Mirkarimi so expect no one to be found.  Final top 5 results are:

1.  K. Harrington - 71, net 66

2.  D. Carwin - 90, net 67

3.  M. Han - 87, net 69

4.  M. Franzago - 76, net 71

5.  E. Murray - 95, net 71

Well played Ken, Dan, tight competition for 1st place.  Mike Han broke out his new Callaway irons and takes a strong 3rd place.  He finally realized every round has been a Retro event for the last 18 years.  Carwin proves again he can't be stopped whether marijuana is legalized, club selection limited, wind gusts up to 25mph, he is a force like Pele, Goddess of Volcanoes.  Dan, are you still using the 4-iron you stole from your daughters golf bag?  

Tidbits...A Tour de France of dick bikers started the day off properly with insults being hurled at golfers.  Real classy biker dudes, you constantly demean your own worth in SF and life in general.  Drew Walker has suggested to the Board that all events be permanently moved to Golden Gate Park as a "protection move" for Club members.  Sound advice being considered.  

Drew also almost Aced #16 hitting what is known as the "tight little draw against the wind heard around the world".  I woke up to 49 text messages from Mike Franzago just on this topic alone.  A full FedEx priority early AM delivery, table service during breakfast.  Well struck Mr. Walker.  Message boards say Drew played spectacular golf for 15 holes but alas ...well let's just say he was found ordering off a Kids menu at a local establishment later on in the day.  There's photographic evidence that cannot be shared due to NSA privacy violations.  

Ken Harrington shot a gross 71 with an apparent abysmal, awful, putrid putting performance.  Chris Biorn was witness to this and suggested to Ken that a lesson from Mike Hulbert may be in order.  For those who don't know, Mike Hulbert is a failed Tour player who putted with a Bullseye and only his right hand for the last two years of his embarrassing career.  Rumor was he moved to a small thatch hut in a Mexican beach town but Ken found him in a facility and they're now working together on "many things", not just putting.   

Ken & Mike Hulbert

 

Biorn and Harrington have also announced they are opening their own short game teaching clinic alongside Kris Moe full swing destruction.  Topics include hybrid roly poly putt-putt Kumli play from 55 yards off the green, mastering yips inside 10 feet, how to putt out of bounds, whiffing chips, 2x, 3x, 4x TC Chen drills.  Visit their website at www.House-of-Biorn.com.  Only $2500 for a weekend.  Max McMillan is their first customer getting 1-on-1 private sessions with Ken on "mental work".  

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Other highlights include tales of double, triple, quadruple chips over the shoulder, negative yardage?  Players will not be named to protect the guilty and not offend the innocent.  Can someone say HAY BAIL !?!?  

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Dave "Priory of Sion" Kane made an announcement today that he absolutely will not be a force to reckon with.  Seriously though, Mr. Kane is a wonderful guy and has been out with an arm injury for a very long time and this was his first round back at Lincoln in nearly 8 months.  Glad to see you're healed up and getting back to playing Dave.

We have a new member Charlie Oppenheim who was in the field.  He comes via representation by James Mallon and the news is Charlie is great company and will be playing in many future events.  Welcome Charlie O!  

Quote/Conversation of the day..."What's your best round here?"  "89" - Anonymous.  I can refer you to a short game clinic if needed Mr. Anonymous.  

Until next time my compadres,

Naoto De Silva