It was a windy winter day at Lincoln Park for the annual Quatre-Baton. I hear conditions were challenging and confusing, good thing club selection was kept simple by limited options. History proved again that with 10 less clubs most people shoot about the same. Not sure what that says about our acumen as golfers and/or human beings surviving on Earth. Maybe if we were all homeless and walked around in diapers with raccoon hats we would achieve more success in life? This is an option I am heavily considering...
We had a few withdrawals so the field of 21 was reduced to 16. Missing persons reports have been filed with Ross Mirkarimi so expect no one to be found. Final top 5 results are:
1. K. Harrington - 71, net 66
2. D. Carwin - 90, net 67
3. M. Han - 87, net 69
4. M. Franzago - 76, net 71
5. E. Murray - 95, net 71
Well played Ken, Dan, tight competition for 1st place. Mike Han broke out his new Callaway irons and takes a strong 3rd place. He finally realized every round has been a Retro event for the last 18 years. Carwin proves again he can't be stopped whether marijuana is legalized, club selection limited, wind gusts up to 25mph, he is a force like Pele, Goddess of Volcanoes. Dan, are you still using the 4-iron you stole from your daughters golf bag?
Tidbits...A Tour de France of dick bikers started the day off properly with insults being hurled at golfers. Real classy biker dudes, you constantly demean your own worth in SF and life in general. Drew Walker has suggested to the Board that all events be permanently moved to Golden Gate Park as a "protection move" for Club members. Sound advice being considered.
Drew also almost Aced #16 hitting what is known as the "tight little draw against the wind heard around the world". I woke up to 49 text messages from Mike Franzago just on this topic alone. A full FedEx priority early AM delivery, table service during breakfast. Well struck Mr. Walker. Message boards say Drew played spectacular golf for 15 holes but alas ...well let's just say he was found ordering off a Kids menu at a local establishment later on in the day. There's photographic evidence that cannot be shared due to NSA privacy violations.
Ken Harrington shot a gross 71 with an apparent abysmal, awful, putrid putting performance. Chris Biorn was witness to this and suggested to Ken that a lesson from Mike Hulbert may be in order. For those who don't know, Mike Hulbert is a failed Tour player who putted with a Bullseye and only his right hand for the last two years of his embarrassing career. Rumor was he moved to a small thatch hut in a Mexican beach town but Ken found him in a facility and they're now working together on "many things", not just putting.
Biorn and Harrington have also announced they are opening their own short game teaching clinic alongside Kris Moe full swing destruction. Topics include hybrid roly poly putt-putt Kumli play from 55 yards off the green, mastering yips inside 10 feet, how to putt out of bounds, whiffing chips, 2x, 3x, 4x TC Chen drills. Visit their website at www.House-of-Biorn.com. Only $2500 for a weekend. Max McMillan is their first customer getting 1-on-1 private sessions with Ken on "mental work".
Other highlights include tales of double, triple, quadruple chips over the shoulder, negative yardage? Players will not be named to protect the guilty and not offend the innocent. Can someone say HAY BAIL !?!?
Dave "Priory of Sion" Kane made an announcement today that he absolutely will not be a force to reckon with. Seriously though, Mr. Kane is a wonderful guy and has been out with an arm injury for a very long time and this was his first round back at Lincoln in nearly 8 months. Glad to see you're healed up and getting back to playing Dave.
We have a new member Charlie Oppenheim who was in the field. He comes via representation by James Mallon and the news is Charlie is great company and will be playing in many future events. Welcome Charlie O!
Quote/Conversation of the day..."What's your best round here?" "89" - Anonymous. I can refer you to a short game clinic if needed Mr. Anonymous.
Until next time my compadres,
Naoto De Silva